About 15 teenage girls hanging out at a park bench, singing loudly together. Afternoon.
”POST BOX NUMBER: THREE FOUR SEVEN, THREE THREE HUNDRED ONE TAMPERE TEN!”
***
Category: Listening in public
Taking the piss
”Listening in public” is back after a six year hiatus! It is a series of tiny posts originally published in a blog of the same name, with John Kannenberg. The idea was to laconically write down things we overheard while walking, commuting, spending time in space that would be understood as “public”. Or as the blurb said: “Conversations overheard by two people in different countries”. For me these are beginnings of mundane stories that feed my imagination. What ever are the situations or histories that are behind these small conversations, it’s up to you to imagine. They are written as verbatim as possible even thought they are translated into English (with variable success).
For previous posts see here: https://users.utu.fi/mlkyto/category/listening-in-public/]
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Two teenage girls on a train, playing mobile games.
It’s crashing!
Oh no…!
It can’t be crashing now?!
No…
I mean really…
Yea…
But this is nice, look, totally taking the piss, 160 points.
Mhhh…
But it won’t be accepted. As I said, taking the piss.
No…
I mean really!
Mhhh…
And THAT is humor!
Yea…
***
Science
Morning at the gym lockerroom. Two senior citizens converse.
“I just can’t understand how some people can be so intelligent. Doctors… they operate hearts, livers… even spleens!”
“And then there was this one who transferred a face.”
“Oh yes! Did the patient survive from that?”
“Yes, for a few weeks at least, eight weeks was it?”
***
Confidence
Afternoon at a gym locker room. A cleaning lady is filling up the paper towel dispenser in the lavatory. A little girl comes to wash her hands, barely reaching the faucet. The cleaning lady looks at her.
“Can you reach the paper towels?”
“Of course, I’m already five years old!”
***
Disturbance
Late night at a train. Two teenage boys playing a first-person-shooter mobile game with sounds on in an otherwise quiet and sleeping car. The phone rings.
“Oh why do they fucking always have to call when I’m fucking playing!?! [pause, answers phone] Yes? Yes I’m at the train. Yeah ok, I will.”
***
Deworming
[A guest post]
Morning at a pharmacy. The pharmasist offers help to a customer.
“Can I help?”
“Yeah, I’d need an allergy drug.”
“Do you have a specific product in mind?”
“Yeah, anything but the one that has the annoying jingle. It has played in my head non-stop for a few days now.”
“Ah, OK. Here’s a product from another manufacturer.”
***
Only in moderation
Evening at a cinema. The pre-film commercials are running. A voice in a dog food ad asks rhetorially:
“Do you want your dog to be full of energy?”
A teenage girl in the back:
“No.”
***
Serving with distinction
Afternoon in a coffee shop. Two baristas serving one customer.
“What’s on the pulled oats you got there?”
“It’s the sweet chili marinade and I’ve added some parsley.”
“Ok, I’ll have the halloumi instead.”
“Can I put cottage cheese on top of the dry bread?”
“Do you want syrup with your chili chai latte?”
“No thanks.”
“Yeah… it’s better to ask and make sure.”
***
Deciding together
Afternoon at a café. A middle-aged couple. The man begins to converse.
“I thought I could buy some onion.”
“Mhm.”
“Bland onion.”
“Yes.”
“Like fresh onion. An omelette would be good. I could get some pineapple also.”
“That would be good, yeah.”
***
Out in the town
Late afternoon at a restaurant. Two young women tweeting.
“Is that like good grammar? ‘Strolling around Copenhagen’?”
“Yeah.”
[pause]
“Ok so I wrote ‘Casually exploring Copenhagen with this hottie'”
“With this hottie?”
“Yeah! Ok, look up cutie, smile, open your mouth, with your teeth out…”
[giggling]
“Ok, savage!”
***